The wrong place

I’ve made progress, I can do this,
You can see it on my face.
So quick to give empty advice,
your hearts in the wrong place.

If I was stronger, any longer,
That’s exactly how It goes.
It’s not resistance to an illness,
it’s just choosing when it shows.

In the background, undetected,
and reflected holding still.
I’ve been on a journey,
you say take another pill.

I’ve seen torment, and distortion.
I’ve seen now and then and never.
I still stand, and feel emotion,
some things seem to take forever.

Connected dots, took shots,
made plans, and wrecked them.
Where I’m at, isn’t really flat,
was that so hard to fathom.

Sleep well, until, every other moment.
Lost words, held breath, typed but unsent.

So shaking cold

Some things pass, it days one moment, blink twice.
Others go, just over night, this song is nice.
Wake up years later, some the same, time to be strong.
Seasons visit, some haven’t seen you in so long.

Suddenly it’s cold, colder than it’s been in a while.
So brisk, and crisp and chilly that I must resile.
I rebound into layers and recoil undercover.
Retreating to a hot shower, this is why we need each other.

Days like this feel like cold nights and I’m alone.
It’s not the same trying to stay warm via telephone.
How did it get so shaking cold anyway.
Now colder still as light fade from the day.

Printed statements and handwritten notes aside.
I know a couple of people with whom I can confide.
All the cold may make me old, I let it go.
I wasn’t told where we might want, might want to go.

Thoughts alone can keep us warm, and keep us safe.
I taught myself to leave some spare around the place.

What’s leftover

There is comfort being busy,
a simple quiet when you’re tired.
Some days I see what you see,
sometimes I’m less inspired.

There’s a little stress leftover,
it’s knocked over, on it’s side.
Might be best, to reassess,
the movement of the tide.

Double up and duplicate, 
then grab on with both hands.
Speak a little clearer until
someone understands.

Solving tiny problems, many.
Pause a moment, what’s it say.
Running out, none, not any.
There’s a way, there’s today.

Another way, by the reflections.
Watching light play, make connections.
Some days borrowed thoughts align.
Errors, edits, made in time.
Once corrected, what’s leftover
is a steady, solid line.

Right through

I can hear them in an empty room,
favourite moments passing through.
So can you I would assume,
press play and stay true.

Sounds that keep my eyes shut,
blinded kindly by beauty.
Listening as notes cut,
effortlessly through me.

Music you can choose to,
songs we get used to.
Lift me up, it’s getting late.
Carry me home, no wait.

Lets just dance right here a while.
A little lost, I don’t know why.
I hear music when you smile,
broken silence, deep sky.

look back

We’ll look back on days like these and laugh.
Details freckled in the sky within my mind.
We looked back, stayed a minute, maybe half.
Some days are so cruel, some impossibly kind.

She’ll think back one day, a moments pause.
The photos left behind reminded me to smile.
I had more to say, no one listens anymore.
Knew you just enough, knew you a little while.

Why are all my favourite details in the past.
Sketched already, a whole collection of art.
Think quick, worry slow, move fast.
Where is the exit, back to the start.

We say hi, almost never, never catching up at all.
Plastic wrapped, sealed corners, unknown.
There was a time you’re the first one I would call.
What I’ve witnessed, how I’ve failed, how I’ve grown.

All those lost, are you all there, shifting sands.
Why it matters, still a gut feeling, no one knows.
It’s like you’re with me, speak unspoken, silent hands.
Doesn’t matter, sleep or no sleep, wriggle toes.

Unsteady monday

Unsteady monday,
wasn’t really very bright.
Weather clearing, just in time now, 
in the steady fading light.

Two steps forward, 
thirty minutes late.
Keep the numbers pretty,
don’t forget the date.

Time running down, 
take two steps back.
Watch, wrist, wrangle
and pick up the slack.

You can do this, 
we’ve been through this,
just like items on a list.
There’s a front page on the back step,
asking why do we exist.

Carry so much new activity,
leaving memories of you.
Underwater, bubbles, corners,
surface spinning out of view.

Some days

This strong sense of memory.
Some days I let it in.
A rush of rambled history.
Where do I begin.

On concert tickets, spent the rent.
Was your birthday far away.
Years pass, messages unsent.
We have nothing left to say.

I write dark twisted sci fi film.
inspired somehow by us.
Programmable souls, forgotten.
Metal begins to rust.

Seeing shadows in the ones we meet.
Discarding voices on the street.
You knew me before I had cracked.
Together we were sweet.

Met while you were on holiday.
I remember it like yesterday.
We met too late, you left too soon.
A forgotten, lovely afternoon.

I left as well, could not catch up.
Endless failed attempts to be.
Stronger, faster, more impossible.
More impossible than you and me.

Reverse of bright

Coded message,
sometimes left here.
Faded minutes,
follow light here.

Stacked in sequence,
scrawled words noticed, 
Gone tomorrow,
know just a little less.

The subtle burn,
night travels, hold still.
I’m yet to learn,
mistakes into skill.

Upended objects,
discarded stopped hearts.
It hurts forever,
to see the best parts.

Reverse of bright,
reflected presence.
Beautiful light,
may only speak once.

Empty space

Hold still empty space, breathe in.
Caught up mid sentence, now begin.
Whisper comfort, voice low.
Red scratch of light and shadow.

Less instruction, might be better.
Endless old space, common sense.
Form and function, Tied together.
Solid weight, travel light, even length.

Tiny message, stuck notes and toffee.
Afternoon is fading, half by half.
Plans and solutions, dark coats and coffee
It is raining while we laugh.

Pausing from above, framing detail.
This early evening, bring it with you.
Better lessons, when you do fail.
Survive till evening, cause you have to. 

Disconnections, followed nowhere.
Pay attention, you’re supposed to.
Sparks, flames and tension, over there.
Pay for dinner, cut your hair.

Dark shimmer, bright travellers,|
cold hum of traffic.
Miss you, all of you,
leftover static.

Carry me home

Carry me home, If I were there.
Hiding a moment, kiss your hair.
Ride with me, I don’t drive.
Take my soul and feel alive.

A line reaching across, an erasable design.
Breathing in your loss, takes a little time.
Missing pieces, falling fragments, empty space.
Favourite places, moonlit pavement, your warm face.

Paper folded many times, sounds are carried by a wire.
Some things make more sense if the words spoken catch on fire.
Isn’t probable I’ll speak to you at all this time around.
Is it sensible to sketch my first impressions of this sound.

Imagination carved in tiny circles, forming squares.
Hidden descriptions, moving sideways as I wander up the stairs.
Who is that, why are you waiting, what are those?
Some excuses for the words I chose.

The walk is steep, even alone.
Carry remnants, carry bones.
You can travel forwards, sometimes travel back.
Moments in the background, other journeys left intact.

The science of us meeting isn’t written on a page.
Losing battles, conversations, simple laughter at one stage.
Count real connections, fingerprinted, you only need a few.
Some are borrowed, some eternal, some discarded, some are new.